spock - that is highly illogical

That is Highly Illogical

The last few years have been a struggle to understand why everyone is losing their shit. Ok, maybe that is not stated correctly. Obviously, there appear to be valid reasons for people to be on edge – a pandemic, global climate change, and misuse of power. But the reason we are all on edge, the reason we are emotional, the reason we are at our wits end are not those real hard-core factual logical reasons. We are in pain, individually and collectively, because of how we feel about these facts.

It is never the circumstance that causes us pain. It is our thought or feeling about that circumstance that causes us pain. Our perception of the world and how it works – if it is fair or unfair, if it is ending or being reborn – is constantly being played in the background of our mind. All of the information we receive is funneled through our perceptions and beliefs and adjusted to fit our worldview.

A simple example I provide in my book, is having $100 in our bank account. The amount of money is a fact. However, what having that money means is based on our perception. We can look at our checkbook at the end of the month and think, “Thank goodness, I have $100 left in my account after paying all my bills.” Or we can think, “Oh, my god. I am in trouble. I only have $100 left in my bank account.” The fact of the amount of money has not changed, but how we choose to interpret that fact is what causes us emotional pain or joy.  

All of the conflict that I am watching between friends, family, and society as a whole is not because of the facts of pandemics, vaccines, or the state of the government. It is caused by each person’s unique viewpoint on what those situations mean. If a news event happens and I watch Fox News, CNN, and the BBC reporting on it, I can often get the feeling three completely different events occurred because of how the story is reported and what emotional embellishment is added.

spock - that is highly illogical

My personal pain through all of this is in trying to determine how to help those I love. I see and feel the pain that my friends and family are experiencing, and I don’t seem to be able to provide relief. Many of us are trying to use logic to help each other see the “truth” or the “right” way. The problem with this is that logic is based on facts, and the pain and emotion being felt are based on perception and belief. The way to provide relief to those we love is to deal with dishonest beliefs, not the facts.

Next time you disagree with someone, instead of debating facts, seek to understand the other. Be open to hearing why they interpret the facts in the way they do. Inquire into their history and see how their past experiences are coloring current events. Investigate what they value to uncover what their fears are and why. When we can objectively see the truth and understand another’s perception, we can help someone else to see circumstances in a new light, not discolored by their or our own fears and dishonest beliefs. When we can put aside our own perceptions and beliefs, we can then objectively and compassionately understand another.

No matter the circumstances, we have a choice of how to react. It is our thought or belief about a circumstance or event that causes us anger, worry, or fear – not the event itself. This is why having a debate on the facts with those who disagree with us do not work. Because none of us are being affected by the facts. We are being influenced and controlled by our beliefs about the facts. If you truly want to create a more peaceful world, be open to exploring how your beliefs are coloring facts and have compassion for others who are also struggling with their own dishonest beliefs.

cup runneth over

What do you take for granted?

Moving to Mexico has done a lot to change my assumptions and expectations. Some of what I needed to shift stemmed from my Type-A characteristics. Some of what I had to shift was due to where and how I was raised. I learned that nothing is perfect. I learned that things do not happen in my timing. I learned my privilege of being an educated Caucasian woman. I learned how what I thought were struggles and challenges were nothing in comparison to what others went through.

It wasn’t until Mexico that I really experienced firsthand how blessed I am in this lifetime. My family did not have much money, but I have learned we had much more than so many others. My family did not have a wall of college degrees, and yet we have more and better education than many. Just having consistent water and electricity, having a reliable car to drive, having money for some little extras, raises my quality of life above so many others. I also learned how this comfort I enjoy makes it more difficult for me to handle challenges. Over the past few years, I have learned my privilege, become grateful for those things I often overlook, and strive to provide empathy and support to others.

my cup runneth over
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

To help you have this same experience of gratitude for things we take for granted, I have written this piece to take you step-by-step through my journey to receive the covid vaccine. My intention is to just report the facts as I perceived them. As you read through the piece, notice how many things surprise and shock you. What do you take for granted?

DISCLAIMER: Although this post will share my experience with getting the Pfizer covid vaccine in Mexico, this post is not about any country, covid, the vaccine, or any other controversy. If you want to debate these things, maybe you want to explore why you want to express hate instead of gratitude.

The vaccine rollout in Mexico started December 2020 and was solely for medical professionals and front-line workers. The vaccine became available to those over 60 years old in February 2021. Starting in March, I began checking the government site to see when the vaccine was opened to my age group. I had access to a computer and internet. I was not worried because I was not at risk and I had a trip planned to the United States later in the year where I could obtain the vaccine. During 2020 and while waiting for the vaccine, I continued to work from home. The weather was pleasant and I had access to multiple safe walks through the mountains. I could order food online and pick it up with my own vehicle.

At the end of April, my health insurance agent – who is more of a health consultant – told me that the online portal for vaccine registration had opened up for my age group. I can afford health insurance. I was able to use my computer and internet to access the site. My Spanish language skills were sufficient, sometimes with help from an online translator, to register. The registration stated someone would call me with an appointment. I have a cellphone that I can charge and receive calls on.

I don’t remember if my neighbor or my insurance agent or both told me that vaccines would begin to be distributed the week of May 18th. On a neighborhood Whatsapp chat that I can access through the internet on my phone and I can access because I can pay the monthly fees to live in this community, I learned that others in my age group were receiving the vaccine. I was fortunate to have the time and ability to research how others obtained the vaccine. Had I not, I would still be waiting for a phone call.

I followed up with friends and neighbors who received the vaccine. One gave me the number of a man who offers to register individuals for the vaccine and provide them early times, for a small fee. Another provided the URL where I could sign up for an appointment.  The site only had appointments for that day, Sunday, at 5pm. I signed myself and my husband up and we immediately left in our car to go to the site. Upon arrival, we were told that they were out of vaccines. We provided our information and were told we would receive a call. Our only inconvenience was a wasted hour. Had we not had our own car, it would have cost us an Uber ride which may have been equal to the average half-day’s wages. If we could not have paid that, the local bus would not have gotten us to the location before it closed.

Monday morning, 8:45am, I received a call that we could receive the vaccine at a different location this morning at 9am. Again, we were fortunate enough to have our own vehicle and the money to pay for gas to get us to the location. We are also fortunate enough to have flexibility in our work to rearrange our day to accommodate this unexpected appointment. Some individuals could not have the ability to change their schedule nor afford to miss work.

When I registered on the initial website, it provided me with forms to download, fill out, and bring to the appointment. I had access to and could afford to have these printed out. I am able to read and write in Spanish to fill out the form. Other, Mexicans and expatriates, at the vaccination center did not have that ability. Staff and others receiving the vaccine who knew English asked if we had any questions and if we understood everything. They also assisted others who could not fill out their forms.

The vaccinations were administered at a school. I was able to walk from the front entrance to a staging area, to the room where the vaccines were given, to an outdoor waiting area to watch for side effects, through a back entrance, and then the two blocks back to our car. I saw elderly individuals being brought in taxis and assisted into the center. I am grateful I can walk, navigate stairs, and sit outside without discomfort.

The vaccination center was being run by the Red Cross, the marines, and a health organization. Hand sanitizer was provided to everyone entering the school. Everyone had some sort of face covering, although not all actually covered both the nose and mouth. Needles were new and the shot area was cleaned before injection. The medical staff did not wear gloves. In the waiting area, we were seated about six inches apart.

Everyone being vaccinated followed the same protocol. We saw three people we knew also being vaccinated: one a highly educated wealthy Mexican, one an American boat captain, and one a Mexican store clerk. All filled out the same forms. All stood in line. All receive the vaccine free.

We were told we would be called in a month for our second vaccine. If there are any issues receiving it in Mexico, we have a trip planned to the United States where we could receive the second vaccine.

Afterward, I shared on our community chat the steps we took so others could do the same.

Six years ago, I would not have handled this process as well. I would have wanted everything to be clearly communicated and for the process to be easy and seamless. What we experienced would have been stressful because I would have had different expectations. Thankfully, I flowed through the process. When there was a roadblock, I accepted it and looked for an alternative. I waited. I stood in line. I was patient.

I am grateful for the ability to:

  • Walk, see and hear.  
  • Read and write, in two languages.
  • Get where I want, when I want, how I want.
  • Receive information from and support my neighbors.
  • Communicate electronically and telephonically.
  • Pay for what I need when I need it.
  • Receive water, electricity, and internet to my home.
  • Accept things as they are.
  • Learn and continue to grow.

What do you take for granted? What are you grateful for?