What are you choosing to experience?

Many of my friends are very into the Law of Attraction. The basic concept is that you receive what you focus on; that your thoughts become real life things. I have many thoughts on this subject and have shared some below.

You Create Your World with Your Focus

I touched on this a bit in my book, basically your life is determined by where you choose to focus. Whether it is because of how the energies of the universe work or due to your reticular activating system, I have seen a correlation between our thoughts/focus and what we receive in our life. It may be something harmless like focusing on the Chicago Cubs instead of the White Sox, or it can cause anxiety when we choose to only see the horror of the news and not the good that is happening as well.

You Can’t Get What You Don’t Define

Many people are unhappy. And many people don’t define what makes them happy. These people focus on what is making them unhappy and therefore they see/receive more of it. The first step to creating the life of your dreams is to define what an ideal life looks like. Focus on the feelings and the experiences you do want. What would make you happy, content, satisfied? What does the good life look like to you?

Don’t Focus on the Outcome

One of the problems I have with other discussions about Law of Attraction is the focus on receiving concrete physical world items.   The way the concept is presented is that the ultimate goal is to have stuff. I don’t know about you, but my goal in life is not to have stuff. Things are great, don’t get me wrong, but it is the experience of the things, not the thing itself that makes us happy. Instead of focusing on the new house, car, or job you want, focus on how you would feel if you had it. Then, even if you don’t receive the thing, you are still experiencing the feeling which is what we really want.

Photo by IIONA VIRGIN on Unsplash

This or Something Better

I have to admit, I don’t always know what is best for me. This is another reason I don’t focus on the outcome. If I achieved the dream I had when I was a little girl, to become a movie star, I would be very unhappy today in the role. Imagine an introvert being constantly in the limelight and spending time with the falseness that is Hollywood. Yuck. Not my dream now. When I focus on something I want to bring into my life, I always say, “this or something better.” It is my loophole. If I am thinking of something that won’t make me happy in the long-run or if what I am asking for is less than I should receive, this or something better leaves space for the powers that be to bring to me what I really want and need.

Release the How

When I talk to people about what they really want in life, they often put restrictions on how they can receive it. When I retire I’ll have the time to do X, when the kids are off to college then I am free to do Y, once I meet Oprah my book will become a best seller. The amazing things that happened in my life never happened in a way I imagined. I had absolutely no clue as to how they would happen, but since I was focusing on what I wanted when an opportunity came up that was in alignment with my dream, I took action.

Show Up

This is not Uber Eats where you place your order and it comes to you. You need to make a little effort and move in the direction of your dreams. Sitting in your room and wishing for a million dollars is not going to make it appear (probably). You have to go out and buy that lottery ticket or start that business you always dreamed of. Imagine, pray, and then act.

Have Gratitude

Be grateful for where you are now. Be grateful for the baby step which takes you closer to your dream. Be grateful every step of the way. One of the ways we are unhappy and we stifle what could be, is by not being happy about where we are. Love and appreciate what is great in your life right now, and dream of this or something better.

We only get one try at this life. Why not make the most of it by choosing to make it the life you want to experience and enjoy?

The Empowerment Show

The Energy of Emotion – Donna Scott-Nusrala

Ever have someone walk into the room and you can feel their anger – or their joy?

Do you know people who seem to always have great opportunities just happen to them? And others who always get the short end of the stick?

Could your life be affected by what you are unconsciously projecting?

In Donna Scott-Nusrala’s new book, The Energy of Emotion, she shows how the emotion energy we project can affect our lives for better or worse and how we can reprogram our emotions to create a better life.

We broadcast energy through our emotions. This can be either positive or negative. The more positive energy we have the more we attract positive energy. Negative energy attracts those things we don’t necessarily want. Most of the time we are not aware of the emotional energy we are projecting and how that affects our life. But there is a way to change your broadcast and change your experience.

By acknowledging how your energy affects your life you can then be empowered to make a difference in your life. You do not have to be a victim of circumstances nor do you have to attack yourself for what you are unconsciously bringing to you. Once you accept that you have created unconsciously what you have in your life based on what you have learned and experienced in the past, you now have the power to make new choices and broadcast what you really want to receive.

Listen in to this eye-opening and life changing show.

It's My Life Inc.


“Form the intention to work on the problem, and then trust the part of you to work on it.”  You may be thinking that this came from the sequel to The Secret which describes how to use the Law of Attraction – set your intention then trust it will occur.  But no, this was the research conducted by the Kellogg School of Management.

The management article outlines research conducted on choosing.  What I learned from the research was:  1) simple decisions were better made cognitively, more complex decisions were better made going with one’s gut, 2) decisions were better made not when one concentrated on what to do, but by setting the intention to solve the problem then distracting the conscious mind.  What I heard in this research was proof that our essential selves, our body compasses, our internal source, and/or the god within is a better judge of what is right for us than our conscious mind.

How often do we think and think and think through a problem only to feel that the logical answer is not correct?  How often do we become sad and depressed when the logical, cognitive answer is not the one that makes our heart sing?  How often do we receive flashes of insight on what to do or say?  How often do we just “feel in our gut” what to do?

Back in the day, I pursued a career in theatre.  I enjoyed directing but I ran into trouble in graduate school.  The teachers wanted me to explain every choice I made.  Why did I have the actor move stage right?  Why is the actor using an Irish brogue?  Why did I choose a pink dress for the leading lady?  Why did I include an owl hooting in the last scene?  They wanted me to detail the reasoning for every nuance of the play.  I couldn’t.  I never made a conscious decision as to any element of the play.  In fact, any time I tried to be cleaver it did not turn out quite right.  Most of the time, I would just sit and read the script and as I read the words the play came alive to me.  I would just see the play – the actions, sound, lights, and sets – playing out in my mind’s eye.  All I did was write down what I saw.

The Kellogg article states, “For unconscious thought to work, it needs to be goal directed.  You need to form an intention to work on a problem, and then divert attentions elsewhere.  It’s all about intention and trust.”  Intention and trust are two powerful words.  Intention is very important.  All too often we go throughout life without direction, without goals, without a destination and then we are also disappointed that we do not have the life we desire.  To gain what we desire, we need to put out to the universe what it is that we want.  What is our intention?  What do we want to solve, gain, or lose?  By setting an intention, we are placing our order with the universe.

Intention is easy – we just need to remember to do it.  Trust is hard.  Trust means letting go of control and getting out of the driver’s seat.  Trust means accepting when things come to us and how they come.  Trust means more than believing but knowing that what we asked for we will receive.  Trust means distracting the mind and then sitting silently with one’s self and allowing the answer to come.  And trust means accepting the answer that comes to us through means other than through logic.

Has there been a time that you set an intention and trusted that it would come true?  Was there a time when you went with your gut and things turned out better than you could have imagined had you followed the logical course?  Share with us your experiences with intuition, intention, and trust.

It's My Life Inc.

Lessons from the MBI Convention

Recently I attended the first ever Martha Beck Coaches Convention.It was an amazingly powerful experience to be surrounded by over 200 women and men all striving for peace and understanding in our world. There was a joyful calm enveloping the event because there was a lack of competition, jealousy, anxiety, fear, and feelings of inadequacy .I am not saying that we didn’t all have our moments (get thee to the self-coaching corner!), but with that many coaches around any incident was truly only a moment as it dissolved as soon as it appeared. Just attending the event taught me the role we all play in each others lives. Although our job is first and foremost to take care of the needs of our essential self, we can easily and effortlessly make incredible impacts on each others lives by just sharing our experiences and what makes us special. Below are just a few of the gifts I received, along with an ability and driven desire to bend flatware.

The Importance of Breath

We can go weeks without food and days without water but we only live minutes without oxygen.Breathing is more than a bodily function; it is the renewing of our spirit.From Sanskrit to Hebrew to Greek to Latin the word for breath does not translate to oxygen intake and carbon dioxide release.Breath translates to universal life energy, soul, and spirit.Concentrating on being mindful of one’s breath is life affirming and life sustaining.Dana Frost and Jill Tupper taught that, “Breath is spirit moving in body.”Breath can take us out of our fight or flight mode (ala “stress”) and into rest and digest relaxation mode.Practicing slower, deeper, quieter, and consistent breathing can return one to a state of calm and stillness in this stressed out world.

We Are Energy

If breath is our spirit, energy is our power and action. Koelle Simpson is a horse whisperer and an energy expert. Koelle learned about energy from animals.Animals have no words to speak so they relate and receive communication from each other’s energy.As humans we are not that far away.Our words provide 7% of our communication.The rest is communicated through our bodies and energy.Our words can lie but our bodies do not.That is why when you are trying to coax your dog with a treat in order to grab him and splash him into a bath, he backs away because he senses that your true purpose displayed through your energy means bath-time. Koelle showed us how to harness the power of our energy by having a clear intention, holding a feeling of joy and peace, releasing any desire to control the process or outcome, and setting clear boundaries.

Actively Create Your Life

Jeanette Maw built off these lessons about energy to specifically focus on the Law of Attraction.She reiterated the importance of having a clean intention, a sense of peaceful joy, releasing the desire once it has been identified, to state and write what we want, why we want it, and why we believe we can have it.The key here is to experience the feeling of true desire and true joy of receiving the item.The emotional joy of receiving our desire is the force that draws it to us.Examining why we can have it helps us to focus on the positive possibility and diminish the energy we give to our limiting beliefs which will block the Law of Attraction from working.

Share and Care

I have the honor of attending an informative and insightful class led by Judy Klipin and although the content will forever change my coaching abilities, the lesson from this session was the power of sharing and connection.In sharing our personal and clients’ (anonymously, of course) experiences there was an amazing feeling of peace that filled the room.There is a great power in not feeling alone.Once that connection is felt it opens the door to allow us to release the painful past, release those limiting beliefs, and have a new perspective for the future.There is incredible power in a group; a power to be utilized for great healing.

True Peace

After these lessons in breathing, energy, creation, and connection the final lesson was in transcendence.I have had a respect for Byron Katie’s work and use it often in my practice, and I often wondered if Byron lived up to her words in person.She does, and then some. She is a woman of great peace and infinite spiritual depth.Her words are simple yet ripe with meaning and inspiration.She has reached an enlightened state that I assume some would fear to go because she is no longer of this world.Byron has reached a level of enlightenment which I have not experienced with any other person I have ever met.Just hearing her speak has elevated my own awareness and practice to a new level.

I hope that these lessons have sparked your desire to learn more and deepen your practice, as they have definitely done for me. Share with us the lessons you have learned on your path or areas you would like explore.

Have you tried to bend a spoon today?

It's My Life Inc.

The Art of Noticing

I read an article about an experiment conducted by psychologists Arien Mack and Irvin Rock. Test subjects were shown a video of people in white shirts throwing balls back and forth with people in black shirts. The test subjects were asked to count how many times the ball was thrown. Next, the test subjects were asked to just watch a video. Again, people in white and black shirts were throwing a ball back and forth, then someone in a gorilla costume walked on screen, beat its chest, and left. IT WAS THE SAME VIDEO. However the first time the test subjects missed the gorilla because they were so focused on the task at hand.

Don’t believe me? Play this game. On your way to and from work, think about VW Bugs (or a car of your choice). How many did you notice on the road? Did it seem like a lot? The truth is that those cars are probably next to you every day, but you were not looking for them. What we think about, what we focus on, or how we view the world can greatly influence how we SEE the world.


When we are focused intently on one thing we often miss the other things happening around us. If our focus is on the state of the economy, are we going to notice the joy our 8th grader is experiencing due to being cast in the school play? If we focus on how much we want the new Coach® handbag, do we notice and show gratitude for all the other possessions and joys in our lives? How much of our life do we miss focusing on fear of or longing for the future or focusing on regrets of the past?

What do you focus on during the day? Do you wake up grateful for the shelter, love, and nourishment in your life? Or do you wake up dreading the board meeting, longing for a new car, and regretting your actions from the day before? What do you notice during the day? Do you notice the smile of a stranger or do you become upset about the bad driver two cars ahead? By focusing on the negative do you unintentionally bring more into your life because that is all you can SEE? How would your day change if you began to focus on the positive?

Be Present

While in Peru, I participated in three San Pedro ceremonies. San Pedro is a medicinal cactus served as a tea. The cactus helps to release the mind of past and present thoughts to help one truly experience the present moment. While experiencing the plant, I had a heightened appreciation for the beauty of nature. The water sparkled and almost seemed to dance. Every grass blade was unique and distinct. I wondered at interesting insects which I might have just swatted away had I not be present and receiving. My mind was empty of the worries of yesterday and I had no thought of tomorrow. I was at peace. I was in the moment like I had never been before. I believe that I found this peace because I was no longer feasting on the fears and worries and longings that usually fill my mind.

You can find this peace for yourself without the help of the cactus. First, try to take 15 minutes a day to be present. Sit, stand or walk and just be. No phone. No radio. No TV. No texting. What do you notice? What might you be missing every day because when you pass by your thoughts are elsewhere? It is amazing that when we are not being hit by stimuli from all sides we can truly experience the entire moment. Clear your mind. Stop focusing on that one thing monopolizing your thoughts or on the laundry list of monkey chatter in your mind, and begin to see all things . . . . . . . as they are . . . . . in . . . this . . . very . . . moment.

The next step is to try to bring that awareness and sense of peace to the rest of the day.  Stay vigilant.  Are you in the moment when your co-worker is talking to you or have you drifted off to what you need to buy for dinner?  Watch yourself throughout the day.  Catch yourself when you are dwelling on the past or focusing on the future.  Acknowledge when your thoughts have strayed.  Just notice and acknowledge your wondering thoughts, don’t judge them or yourself for having strayed.  Then gently pull yourself back into the moment.  In time you will find yourself more in the moment and more at peace.

Be Present.  Be Vigilant.  Be Well.