from type a to type me: how to stop doing life and start living it

What Have You Lost in Constantly “Doing”?

In our fast-paced, multi-tasking, on-the-go-deadline driven work, we are often caught up in the act of “Doing.” We move from task to task on our to-do list. We rush from work to class to home. We keep pushing ourselves to do more and do it better.

from type a to type me: how to stop doing life and start living itBut what is the cost?

Do you have hobbies? Do you have passions? Or have you lost who you are to all of the things you are doing outside of yourself?

Do you sleep well at night?

Are you fit? Do you feel good in your body?

What is your blood pressure?

How is your digestion?

Do you have close loving relationships, or are those around you cowering after you gave your last order?

Do you feel a slave to the needs of those around you?

Do you celebrate your successes, or do you jump into the next task?

Do you feel overwhelmed by all you need to do?

Do you have work-life balance?

When was the last time you laughed?

How often do you smile during the day?

How much do you enjoy what you are doing?

How much of your day, life, and relationships do you miss because you are focused on the project at hand?

How much of your life have you forgotten in a blur of completed tasks?

Are you truly living your life or are you a machine frantically completing one task after another?

Do you feel stuck, constricted, strained, and restricted?

What is your personal cost of doing too much?

Journal about what you are losing in the desire to “have it all.” In your desire to control situations, how are you actually out of control? Are you ready to give up the frantic lifestyle and find peace in just being? What is scary about releasing all the to-do’s on your list?

Katy Warner Stress Relief

Have Your Become a Type A Personality?

The concept of a Type A personality has not been around for long. It was actually identified in the 1950s by two cardiologists, Drs. Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman, who were studying coronary heart disease. They found a link between personality types and heart disease. According to their research, they identified three types of behaviors:

• Type A, which they labeled as competitive, ambitious, impatient, aggressive, and fast-talking;
• Type B, which is more relaxed and non-competitive, and
• Type C, which is hardworking, but becomes apathetic when faced with stress.

Katy Warner Stress ReliefThose considered Type A were more prone to having high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, and stress-related illnesses.

According to the Friedman and Rosenman study, Type A’s are defined as:
• Involved in multiple stressful activities tied to deadlines.
• Showing a tendency to rush to finish activities.
• Practicing perfectionism.
• Taking everything too seriously.
• Having an intense sustained determination to achieve one’s personal goals.
• Competing constantly against others and themselves in all situations.
• Having a persistent desire for recognition and advancement.
• Exhibiting mental and physical alertness over a long period of time.
• Unable to easily and clearly express their feelings.

According to Dava Money of the Creative Healing Institute, 50 percent of the United States population is now considered a Type A personality. This is because the Type A personality is a learned, rather than an innate behavior. Our Western society rewards competition, success, a focus on work, and being constructive. Added to this, modern technology provides new ways and new reasons to multitask and always be connected. The result is the desire and belief one must be a superhuman handling everything thrown his or her way. Because of this, most of us, at one time or another, experience Type-A tendencies.

In this technologically fast-paced world, have you become a Type A personality?

Are you experiencing some of the negative tendencies and results of being a Type A person, like:
• Anxiety when you have to wait.
• Stress when your to-do list no longer calms you down, but becomes your tyrannical master.
• Being frantic, overwhelmed, and inexact due to a sense of heightened urgency.
• Being crazed due to clutter in the house or office.
• Feeling powerless to say no to responsibilities even when you become buried in them.
• Insomnia due to uncompleted to-do lists and unread email.
• Exhaustion from unrealistic multitasking.
• Devaluation as your focus on work means you are underpaid for the long hours you work and for what you deliver.
• Work-life imbalance keeps you away from the joy of family and friends, as well as our own needs and self-care.
• Martyrdom from an extreme desire to serve and give to others.
• Frustration by not being able to affect the emotions, actions, and results of others for which you feel responsible.

How many of these tendencies do you now experience? Were you always this way or have these tendencies increased over time?

life coaching

Help me reduce the amount of stress in the world

The American Psychological Association has reported that 77% of Americans are regularly experiencing physical symptoms due to stress.  The report goes on to show the cost to employers due to stress-related issues like missed work and health care costs. The annual cost has reach $300 billion making this an important issue not only for individuals but for businesses as well. There is an enormous need by the majority of the population to make significant changes to the level of stress experienced on a daily basis to improve not only their physical health, but also to improve the quality of their relationships, their work, and life in general. 

A Framework for Stress ReductionAfter a lifetime of stress-filled deadline driven jobs, I found myself a victim of stress-related illnesses. My digestion and reproductive systems were erratic. I experienced pain and tension in my muscles. I was tired, anxious, drained, and depressed. Over the past seven years I found my way out of stress and now help others do the same.

I am committed to eradicating stress in our society. I want to reach all those who are experiencing physical pain and discomfort due to their stress. I want to reach all those whose relationships and jobs are suffering due to stress. I want to reach those who are giving up, who have lost the joy in their lives. And I want to reach those who are not yet controlled by stress to teach them how to keep stress from building up.

For all these people, I have a gift, a tool for stress relief in my new book From Type-A to Type-ME: A Framework for Stress Reduction.

I want to show them what I have learned so they too can find relief. They can learn to enjoy life even if their circumstances don’t change. They can learn to breathe easier even if they are nursing a loved one. They can enjoy time with their family even if their job is challenging. They can improve their physical health by making changes to how they react to life’s stressors. Everyone has the power to reduce their stress and enjoy more of their life.

Over the past seven years I have collected tools, exercises, and habits which have helped me and my clients find more peace and freedom in our lives. I have collected these into my first solo book, From Type-A to Type-ME: A Framework for Stress Reduction. The Framework presented in this book is customizable to your needs, your lifestyle, your belief system, and your time so you can truly create long-lasting changes to the amount of stress you experience.

Here is where I need your help. In order to bring this book to life, I need to know there is interest.

There are Three Ways to Help

  1. I hope that you can share the crowdfunding information with those you believe can benefit from this book.
  2. If you love my newsletters and/or working with me, please consider adding a testimonial to the “Engage” tab at http://TypeME.Pubslush.com It will show people who visit the site the potential value of the book and it will be used to promote the book through social media.
  3. Consider a donation. Everyone who donates will also receive helpful tools to reduce their stress, from an ebook to an intensive 7-month online program to personal coaching from me.

I appreciate your willingness to share the crowdfunding information helping me let the world know that stress does not need to be debilitating. It is possible to lead a less stressful life.

Thank you very much for your support. Together we can stop this epidemic of stress.

 

Melissa Heisler

Learn About Stress Reduction at HAOMI Community Acupuncture Clinic

Melissa Heisler
Melissa Heisler

Learn a framework for reducing stress from stress reduction expert Melissa Heisler. Stress affects all of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be debilitating. Learn how to reduce how stress affects your mind and your body. Learn simple customizable tools to use on a daily basis to reduce stress and keep it from building up.

Saturday May 24, 1:30-2:00pm

$10 donation

RSVP would be really appreciated. RSVP: DeerfieldCA@gmail.com or 847-845-4090

 

HAOMI Community Acupuncture Clinic

405 Lake Cook Rd, Ste 211, Deerfield, Illinois 60015
 

Burnout To Balance

Why are we more stressed? And what can we do about it?

Never in history have we had such comforts and ease of living. Our grocery store shelves are stocked and we can cook a meal in minutes. We can communicate with family and friends around the world instantaneously and face to face. Modern conveniences make our day to day life easy. Then why the heck are we so stressed? The reason is because of this technology, and our limbic brain. I have been preaching this a long time and recently spoke about it.  Now newest research by Dr. Marc Schoen, psychologist and faculty member at UCLA’s Geffen School of Medicine, has proven it.

Burnout To BalanceMuch of technology is a helpful for our life, but it has also taught us impatience and a demand for perfection. We expect everything to be immediate and when it is not we become stressed. “I have to wait three minutes for my Starbucks coffee. Oh, the humanity!” We expect everything to be perfect and the exactly the way we desire it and when it is not we become stressed. “You bought full not skim milk? My life is ruined.” We are less patient with people, timetables, and the natural cyclical every changing way of life. Everything in our life becomes a stressor from traffic, to our cable being out, to our favorite snack missing from the vending machine, to slow internet. None of this is life or death, but we feel it is.

Although on the outside we are living a better, more comfortable life, our limbic brains are telling us something different. Our limbic brain is our survival brain. This is the part of us that reacts unconsciously to danger. Back in the day when a tiger appeared, if we used our logical minds to decide what to do, we would quickly become lunch. “Oh look a tiger. It has pretty stripes doesn’t it? It seems to be salivating. The tiger must see me as food. If that is the case, perhaps it is time for me to leave this place.” Chomp. The limbic brain is set to survival. It sees a tiger and activates our legs in the opposite direction before we realize consciously what is happening.

What has happened in our modern age is that our limbic brain perceives inconveniences with the same intensity as life and death situations. We become fearful and anxious in traffic, when we forget someone’s birthday, or when the boss is headed to our desk. The problem is that when our limbic system kicks in it sends all of our energy to our muscles so we can fight or flee. In doing so, it shuts down those things we use on a daily basis, like our digestive, immune, and reproductive system to conserve energy. Then because we see everything in our life as an apparent danger, we are constantly in a state of alert. Our cortisol levels are high, our daily systems are shut down, and we begin to have stress related illnesses.

This leads us to look for something outside of our self to reduce our stress. Due to the media and our current society, instead of seeking measures which truly alleviate our stress level, we unfortunately turn to maladaptive habits for relief. Dr. Schoen has uncovered maladaptive habits people use which I often see in my clients. Two maladaptive habits are choices, consciously or unconsciously, that we make. First are obsessive habits; those obsessive compulsive disorders large and small, from triple checking that the door is locked to repetitive washing. Second are addictions to food, alcohol, sex, television, shopping, and a whole host of seeming pacifiers.  The next two maladaptive habits are ones that occur in our bodies. We develop sleep disorders and insomnia. Or we have chronic illnesses, colds, flus, headaches, and stomach aches. The last of the maladaptive habits Dr. Schoen identified are avoidance habits like the fear of crowds, flying, or going over bridges.

The question is if these maladaptive habits are not helping our stress, what can we do?

De-Stressed WomanFor true stress relief, it is necessary to consciously choose new healthier long-lasting and truly effective habits. Unplugging, getting sleep, deciphering between real and imagined fears, learning patience and acceptance, and focusing on what we have not on what we don’t. Stress relief is very simple, but not easy. Over the years we have created deep pathways or grooves in our mind. We have programmed our minds to unconsciously respond with our maladaptive habits. The simple answer is to create new habits, new pathways, and new grooves. It is simple, but it does take time to create and program into our minds.

To receive help in reducing your stress, download a free chapter of From Type A to Type Me: How to Stop “Doing” Life and Start Living It