My husband and I have been adopted by a street cat lovingly called Blanca. We now leave her food and water as she demands. For the most part, she sits adorably on the front porch until I serve her the “right” breakfast. She is very sweet and would love to become a house cat, but my allergies will not allow it. Blanca does not quite understand this and often sneaks into the house every chance she gets.
This week I was bringing in two water cooler jugs as Blanca sat patiently on the front porch amused by the little gringa struggling with the large blue containers. Then she spotted her opportunity and darted into the house and down the stairs. I followed her and closed all the bedroom doors to keep her range of access to a minimum and then went upstairs to store the water jugs.
I could have chased Blanca around the house to try to get her out. In the past, I tried this. The result is she finds the smallest, lowest, tightest space she can and barricades herself in there. No way to reach her. No way to get her out. Frustration and anxiety all around.
Now, I leave her be. I go about my business and ignore her. Eventually she finds a nice space to lie down, usually in the open and near me. I can then pet her and say soothing words, then scoop her up and remove her from the house. Angrily chasing her around the house does not remove her. Accepting then lovingly approaching her does.
So it is with our crazy monkey mind. If we are triggered and immediately run headlong into our story, it grows, fights back, hides, and makes us frustrated that we can not remove it. If we quietly notice, “oh, there it goes again,” accept that we are feeling an emotion but don’t feed it, the power of the crazy mind diminishes, and we can lovingly remove it.
This week I was triggered. I had a long day at work. I love my work but due to the intense emotional nature of it, I can only do so many hours. In addition, I spoke with my manager about a new procedure to review our work. “New” and “review” can be terrifying words even if we know our work is positive. Then I learned that the invoices I put into the Mexican government database were wrong and I’d have to redo them, in Spanish and on a confusing non-user-friendly website. And now because my day job went long, I wasn’t prepared for a talk I was to give that evening. Monkey mind ensued.
Stress kicked in. My mind got fuzzy. I was focusing on the pain and anxiety of these issues not the solution to them. I was uncertain what to do next about the invoices and the talk. I was chasing the cat. I was trying to make the pain of the emotion go away which just made the pain of the emotion grow.
Thankfully, I stopped. I gave myself a time out. I meditated best I could. I went to the talk and instead of having a polished presentation, I spoke from the heart about my experience that day. Later I took a walk to clear my head. The result is that the emotional pain was removed, and I could think more clearly and act more efficiently.
Where and when do you “chase the cat”? What would it look and feel like if you stepped away from the emotion, anxiety and fear for just a little bit? How do you feel about letting go to gain control?