Chopsticks

No, I am not going to talk about the favorite beginner piano song. I want to talk about those wooden implements created to shuttle sushi and other delicacies into one’s mouth.

My husband and I were at our favorite local hangout enjoying, once again, curricanes, our favorite dish of tuna, avocado and crab. Not sure why but I looked at my chopsticks and I had a revelation. In reality, chopsticks are just two thin pieces of wood. Not a lot of engineering went into them. As single pieces of kindling, they are pretty useless. I guess I could stab a piece of melon with one, but where chopsticks become powerful is when they are used in a pair. It is not a single chopstick itself that does much, it is when a pair are used together that they can make a difference.

Tiki Bar CurricanesMy thoughts turned from kitchen utensils to people. For many years, I was independent. I was a loner. I didn’t want or need anyone. When I met my husband, I found my other chopstick. Yes, I could function and survive and even thrive without him, but with him things were better. We work well side-by-side picking through the ups and downs of life. We are a team. We support each other. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We pull up the other’s slack and let our spouse lead when it is their strength. We may not always believe the same things, but we always strive to keep working in unison.

I see other couples who have forgot they are chopsticks. They have forgotten how to work together. They think they are doing it all on their own or are expecting the other to do all the work. Instead of striving to work together, many are focused on attacking the other and causing separation. They have forgotten how to communicate. They have forgotten how to be vulnerable. They have forgotten how to forgive. It is similar to the division I notice in the larger United States. Both sides of the political system are pointing fingers and placing blame. They are focused on the differences. They further divide through personal attacks. The country is separated chopsticks and is not working well.

Whether individual relationships or larger groups, I see a lot of single chopsticks running around. We have forgotten that we need each other to make things happen. We have forgotten that we work much better together than apart. Instead of trying to come together, we focus on how the “other” is wrong and condemn them for it. We have forgotten that we are all wrong at certain points. We have forgotten that one poor action does not define who a person is. We have forgotten that we are all flawed human beings. We have forgotten how to forgive and love.

Now is a time for unity. It is a time for compassion and understanding. It is a time to look for ways to come together instead of dividing further apart. Our strength is amplified when we come together.

Take a look at your relationships. Are you working as a team? Are you creating unity or division? We don’t always have to agree or be happy about our other chopstick, but through compassion and understanding, we can learn to accept and come together. As with chopsticks, people work better when we are together.

2 comments

  1. Dear Melissa,

    This is Valerie Early the dietitian in Schaumburg, Illinois that owns Nutrition, Connection, Balance. First, I just wanted to let you know that I read your newsletters and commend you on your lovely authentic writing and how they have evolved. 2nd, I still am a NMD with Juice Plus and have a large national team of servant orientated kind people. May I copy part of your last article (chopsticks & team) noting that you are the author to my closed Facebook JP team members? Thank you for your time, expertise and possibility to share your article/work. Warmly, Valerie Early

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