After the loss of his unborn child, John Bader himself was lost. As he writes in his book, The Responsive Universe: “Like the wind causing chaos on the ocean before my eyes, my mind was in an uncontrollable tailspin. Just days ago, I had witnessed my wife give birth to my lifeless son. A small strand of amniotic flesh had wrapped around his umbilical cord and had suffocated him to death. The doctors told us the chances that amniotic band syndrome could affect a healthy unborn baby was one in thirty thousand. I was in shock. All that I had dreamed of – holding my little boy in my arms, playing baseball, and watching him grow into a man and a father of his own – had been dashed away. Like autumn leaves falling from a dormant tree, I watched the winds of change whip my happiness away, bringing a cold, heartless winter down on me. As I held his lifeless body in my arms, I felt sad for myself and a deeper sadness for my wife. Minutes after the still birth, the doctor allowed us time with our son. Annamarie watch me with puffy red eyes as I looked into my son’s lifeless face. As she watched me say goodbye, I could not imagine what she was going through; to have carried this baby for six and a half months and have to say goodbye on his birthday? It was all inconceivable. Would I wake up from this bad dream? We were good people. How could this happen to us?”
This heart wrenching tragedy was not the end of John’s joy. It actually became the impetus of his reawakening. The depths of depression and despair became the catalyst for his search for answers which ultimately led to his awakening. For the next few years, John spent his time studying the major religions in search of answers, understanding, and peace. Through his search he found not only the answers he was looking for, but daily practices to aid him through the ups and downs of life. Now he not only uses these tools for his own happiness, but also teaches others how to find peace in the most difficult situations.
Learn more about John Bader’s journey and how he found solace in the practices of Buddhism. Learn how the Nine Mandala’s hold tactical daily practices you can use to uncover your own power, resiliency, and joy.