My husband and I purchased a house built in the 1960’s from the original owners. Over the years we have made many improvements. Our next project is slated to be remodeling the upstairs bathroom. It is definitely in need of a refresh. The tub is yellow with blue and green non-skid fish appliqués scattered here and there between the ghost-like remnants of their fallen brethren. There are two mismatched vanities mounted to peeling and cracking painted walls. And the pièce de résistance is the green woven carpeting covering the floor. Needless to say, this room definitely needs to get a retrofit.
Because this is an older bathroom it has separate hot and cold water faucets in the shower. Code now requires a single faucet because separate faucets can lead to unintentional scalding water and injury. We have gotten pretty good at manipulating the faucets so we can enjoy our showers but it takes some time to get the temperature dialed in just right. It is interesting though. The hot water is pretty consistent. If the volume of hot water is a drip or full blast, it still feels the same. The cold water acts differently. The more volume the colder it feels. And the cold water is the key player to regulate the temperature overall. No matter how much hot water is pouring in, the final temperature depends on the amount of cold water added.
The same goes for my mood. My positivity and joy are, for the most part, consistent. But how happy I feel depends on the amount of cold water I throw on my day. The more I focus on the negative, on what I don’t have, on what went wrong, on any sadness I am experiencing, the more this cold water diminishes any good I am feeling. It can take the best day of my life and, as they say, throw a wet blanket on it. So what to do? If we keep in mind my antique shower, turning up positivity, optimism and joy really won’t get my anywhere. What I need to do is turn the volume down on the cold blahs to allow my hot joy to flow freely.
To lessen the wet blanket of negativity, the first thing I need to do is catch myself in the midst of it. I need to sharpen my awareness. When am I turning a neutral story into a negative one? When am I joining into the pity party of bad traffic, low paychecks or whatever other negative stories are being shared around the water cooler? When am I being sucked into the downward spiral of blechiness? Once I become aware that the cold water is turned on, I need to take steps to stop the flow. I can look at the story I’m telling myself and turn it around by searching for any good I can find in it. I can lessen the power my negative thinking by remembering other times when the current bad issue did not exist therefore seeing that this too shall pass. Sometimes just changing the subject or distracting myself from the negative story can break its power and turn off the flow of cold negativity.
If your cold water is running too hard, maybe it is time for a mental remodel.